a little child
at the feet of angry Gods
lifts her up
and takes her to the clouds
Mother told him to tend the stars
a few seconds before she died
And it was in another shadowed dream,
another insane recognition,
that his mind became the evening’s green child.
And now, when midnight silence
eats through his splendid highways and empires,
when those angels of epiphany strike hard at the bereft aurorae,
he goes to the river.
The river knows everything….
Meanwhile, crosses, railroads and orchids keep on crawling towards the weary jawbones of the luminous inheritance….
And the moon keeps on weaving through a thousand looms of cold madness like this
One end stares at me
The other end winks at the dust
And in between,
it’s this sheer fulfillment I’ve been trying to reach for so many years.
Maybe it’s best this way
It’s hard to hold on to all the dark matter (80% of the universe, Wikipedia says)
And it’s harder to wither away from the frames.
So I’m just waiting for the next train and thinking of prehistoric mammals.
It’s just like those formidable kingdoms from history books. Naked and almost real
Words spread roots. Cities, sanctuaries and dusks fill up. Memories rise taller than Colossus. Temples, prayer halls and faith shrink down to fit into A-4 size realization. Structures assure purity. Photons trade with rainbows and time. Intellect hides in briar pipes with all the ashes and debris of this angelic silence. Faces fade away keeping the mask intact. And then, eternity becomes a child’s feverish whimper.
Someday I’ll find all the lost pieces. Someday, you’ll find me begging for all your beauty.
It’s like becoming one, becoming whole. Eventually, I will be.
Mostly an over-hyped concept.all hyphenated. plus you need some flesh over the skeletons, and then a few bloodvessels to put up with all the blame, and finally, a layer of skin to cover up your ugliness and sameness.
therefore, keep breathing and keep breeding. these are essential elements. and don't forget the punctuations.
then freedom arrives. and you find yourself too free to care. and i'm swimming and there's a party somewhere and song and dance and routine tribal norms. words and ideas put on forms/formulas. and they cease to be what they used to be. and give me my mask back. it's difficult. and meaningless. search for vulgar fulfillments. typhoons approach. bolt up, thunderbolt. buttons and batons and marching stillborn you me our children our fathers mothers brothers androids amoeba and anathema.
polymers. holy curse. yeah. too much haze. too much freedom. stop shouting. fuck you. no freedom no fear no rhythm no radiation no nothing and dot dot dot and shapes. dear shapes. love you shapes. pale. hollow. yellow. noiseless. smokeless. purer than sense. incensed, intense.
inject blood inject life inject fear inject ice inject reason inject treason inject faith inject cows inject pussy inject lucy inject diamonds inject sermons inject skies inject lies inject ruins inject relics inject queens inject felix inject isis inject osiris inject crisis inject canaries inject rivers inject macbeth inject shivers inject black death inject sanity inject rectangles inject vanity inject nightingales inject babies inject rabies inject jokers inject chokers inject pokers inject non-smokers inject stockbrokers inject bram stokers inject cartoons inject typhoons inject cumshots inject foxtrots inject spiders inject riders inject tramps inject lamps inject names inject flames inject letters inject craters inject stars inject scars inject forms inject storms inject roots inject brutes inject history inject this story inject you inject the new
inject the symphony inject the puke inject the tranquil inject the madness inject the gory inject the gory inject the i-miss-you-s inject the shy misuse inject the decay inject the bouquet inject the asshole inject the payroll inject the vision inject the fission, inject the trigger inject the snigger inject the cough inject the near inject the bluff inject the seer inject the toxic inject the love-sick inject the puppet inject the fuck-it inject the amen inject the semen inject the sea-men inject the freemen inject the still-born inject the forlorn inject the beats inject the belly inject the keats inject the shelly inject the demon inject the lemon inject the profit inject the loss inject the prophet inject the boss inject the petal inject the fatal inject the lust inject the blast inject the mama inject the papa inject the drama inject the exit button
inject my head inject my answer inject my cancer inject my hope inject my dope inject my dreams inject my screams inject my words inject my finger inject my hunger inject my ejaculation inject my annihilation inject my alcohol inject my damn-you-all inject my tombstone inject my epitaph inject my trombone inject my happy laugh inject my teary days inject my dreary nights inject my beery haze inject my eerie lights inject my burning out inject my turning stout inject my chickens inject my dickens inject my threesome inject my free rum inject my verse inject my curse inject my hemlock inject my shell shock inject my anthem inject my hang them inject my pages inject my cages inject my specs inject my sex inject my El inject my hell inject my wagon inject my agon inject my furry blur inject my forever
and once you’re done with all the injecting,
just come here and lie down beside me
and make everything disappear,
and let each and every damn thing that stands between you and eternity fade away
and let me love you like i have never loved before
and let yourself love me like you have never loved before
and let us set the skies ablaze with ourselves and you and me and nobody and nothing else
my blue lady
It’ll be your birthday in a few hours, I remember
You will be twenty
Won’t your parents throw a lavish party?
I bet they will.
People shall pour in.
Men, mostly your parents’ colleagues,
with readymade poise and wisdom –
Women, mostly their wives,
with lipgloss and smile painted all over,
And little kiddos, mostly their genetic flag-bearers,
with big red balloons, and blue ones as well
And yes, all your friends, some of whose pride in you
is almost as real as that of your parents
Well, they will come, they will see and they will concur:
“Yes, she’s a big lady now,
all grown up and ready to fight the storms”
But I have a feeling that as you’ll sit and wear that smile of yours
You’ll be, like you’re now,
more ready to “fight all the storms” than they can ever imagine
You have already fought half a dozen of them.
You are too tired to give a damn.
I know that you’ve closed your doors
And I know that you won’t open them again
And I won’t knock, I’ve lost my right
But please make a reply, if possible, from the other side
Are you really happy? Aren’t you?
As for me, you know, I’ve walked a long long way
I’ve been around,
Old temples, new islands, old waves, new highways
I’ve travelled a lot.
The giant bug that was yours is a man today, and he isn’t yours anymore.
I was busy getting drunk a few thousand miles away when you
called out to me. I couldn’t hear.
Or maybe I could, but I chose to be deaf
The moon was waning all the time
They’d choked the river somewhere close to the city.
They’d wrapped the world up with a cold blank white sky.
And peace ran deep down all arteries, veins and drainpipes.
I’ve grown up. My mask has grown up with me.
I’m tired of trying to open it. Trust me, I really am.
Yes, once I met this mannequin and mistook it for an Angel
But it refused to look into my eyes, and so I had to leave
It’s still out there stuck in some showcase I believe,
And I don’t really care anymore.
Though that was not the first time I hurt you, but that mattered a lot, I know.
And then I got way too busy with my own show
People were waiting, and I had to give them their money’s worth
I had to make them clap. I had to make them laugh. I had to be the joker.
And I had to pretend that I am burning with this “Divine Madness”
Bullshit. None of it exists. None of it had ever existed. It’s all make-believe, and you know that.
And when the show was over and they took that blinding spotlight away
I searched for you everywhere. But you were already gone.
And you had left that blue kite torn at the edges,
that sad scribe scorned by the sages,
that fat clown, smiling down the ages,
and those strange creatures chewing their way to eternity
(Baby Dinosaurs, right?)
behind. They were lonely and cold,
and, to be very honest, I didn’t know what to do with them.
So I shot them down one by one. And I rode on.
And I’m still riding.
Poison keeps on spreading across stars and roots
Flowers keep on blooming with fangs and tentacles
Streams keep on gurgling with this majestic fever
Drumbeats keep on throbbing through the breeze
Suns keep on setting behind thirsty worn-out rocks
And I’m still riding.
This was just a lousy birthday letter and
unlike those crazy meaningless ones I had scribbled once
this one might just carry a bit more sense
(After all I’ve grown up too, haven’t I?)
And I can’t post this letter because you’ve taken the letterbox away
Well, I guess I can’t do much about it now
I won’t rock the boat anymore
I won’t try to barge in either
I won’t reach out for you ever again
But reply, if you can, from the other side
Are you happy? Are you really happy?
Your Giant Bug, “in trousers”